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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

NCAA Women's Championship tonight





The NCAA Women's Championship game takes place tonight in the Pepsi Center in Denver, CO. Undefeated Baylor against 35-3 Notre Dame. 

It is as most expected it to be. Contenders for the throne Connecticut and Stanford falling in the semifinal games of the Final Four...the Huskies going out growling and gnashing. Stanford never really in the game against Baylor...but accomplishing something that the Irish would love to figure out how to do.

Stop Brittany Griner.

'The Grinder' went for 32 points and 14 grabs against Notre Dame in November in the 94-81 Baylor win. At 6'8", she's shown that she can dunk other than in practice. Notre Dame starts no one taller than 6'2". Even with two-time BIG EAST defensive player of the year Devereaux Peters on the squad, there is still about 6 inches of height disparity there. 

We asked basketball fans, a former coach and the Yorkies their opinions. We threw most of that advice in the recycling bin. Co-Co, when asked, started piling up containers of banana pudding next to Griner's picture. Jeff Walz would probably tell you that you let her get hers and shut down the rest of the team. Jeff Foxworthy most likely would tell her "You Might Just be a Redneck" jokes until her sides hurt from laughter. 

Nevertheless, we managed to come up with a "top 10" list of ways you keep Griner from scoring. Enjoy the game tonight!


10. Tell her prior to the game that her baskets will be worth only one point.
Replace the cigarette with
Brittany's face and "smoking"
with "Griner".
9. Put a picture of her face on the backboard with a circle around it and line thru it. 
8. Inform Kim Mulkey that tonight's contest will be a 6'4" and under game.
7. Attach brooms to the forearms of the Notre Dame paint players. 
6. Put a sign over the entrance to the court...CLEARANCE 6'3" AND UNDER ONLY. TALL PLAYERS FOLLOW DETOUR ROUTE.
5. Call Anthony Davis and see what he's up to tonight.
4. Strategically place sharp-shooters in the stands with instructions to shoot the ball whenever she gets it. 
3. Have Natalie Novosel carry Devereaux Peters around on her shoulders the entire game. 
2. Install secret trap doors underneath each basket and open them when Griner gets in the paint. 
1. Give Tonya Harding a front row seat for the game and equip her with a police baton. 

Tip is 8:30 p.m. tonight on the four-letter network. 


Louisville softball looks to rebound (maybe a wrong choice of words) from the 1-2 weekend against DePaul in Chicago with a Wednesday non-conference game against UK. The two met last week in Lexington...UofL taking a 1-0 victory on Kristin Austin's solo shot to lead off the fourth. 

Expect Ulmer Stadium seats and the surrounding berm to be packed for this one. Hopefully, the weather will co-operate. We expect the Cards to produce a few more runs in this one, buoyed by the large fan support they'll have in the seats and berm. 

Not sure who Sandy Pearsall will hand the ball to for starting pitching duties...but Tori Collins mowed down Wildcat batters with relative ease in Lexington and she's had three days rest. If she falters, the Cards have Chelsea Leonard and Caralisa Connell to bring in for relief. 

Attendance for the game in Lexington was announced at over 1000 (barely). We must do better, Cardinal fans! Tickets are $5 and can be purchased through the UofL Ticket office. We expect "walk-up" purchases will be available as well. Game time is 6 p.m. 

Here's hoping the Cards batters can shake the "bees" out of their bats and find open space and the fences against UK. Gotta bring UK Sports down a notch after Monday night, right?


Finally, congratulations to UK for winning the NCAA Men's Championship. Also, congratulations to UK fans for not repeating as much stupidity on the streets as they did Saturday night. Early reports we've heard indicate that only car was set ablaze, one garage burned and one person shot. 

Couches and recliners torched...well, that a different story.   Let the students have their fun to a certain extent, we say. It's quite an honor to win a National Championship. WE remember the crazy scene down on the Belknap Campus when Louisville took the title in 1986. Paul was in Indianapolis when Louisville won in 1980 (but remembers very little about the post-game celebration).

"A riot is an ugly thing!"
The key is moderation and no violence after a major accomplishment. It sounds like 99% of the party people last night kept it destructive free. And, that's a good thing.

A UK fan informed me yesterday that the same thing would have occurred in Louisville that did on Saturday in Lexington if the Cards had advanced to the championship game. 

We'll never know, of course...but something tells me that the smell of burning couches in the air wouldn't have been as prevalent and insurance claims on torched automobiles non-existent.  

So, to my UK friends that are classy, congratulations. Stay classy. To all other BIG BLUE boasters out there, don't flaunt it in front of me. 

Who's the happiest guy in New Orleans today? Why no other than World Wide Wes. See the hug between him and Anthony Davis after the game? Notice how WWW was strategically seated behind Calipari? Easier to pull the puppet strings from there I suppose. 

To paraphrase the words of Jack Nicholson in the movie A Few Good Men:

"All you did last night is weaken the institution of college basketball, Coach Cal." 

A bunch of "one and done" players won the National Championship last night. 

Ho, hum.

That little boy on an Indiana farm, shooting baskets until dark at the hoop attached to the side of the barn, yeah...he's all about "one and done" He may have a good 3 or 4 years playing in high school, get a ride from a state school and even start by his senior year. He won't go to the NBA but may return to that small Indiana town a few years later and open a family practice physicians office or join the local insurance agency. His friends and parents will be proud of him. He won't be hanging out with rappers. 

That little boy may return to the inner city as the first child in his family with a college degree. He may be on the staff of a outreach sports programs that offers kids a gym to play in instead of the streets to get in trouble in. He'll settle down, marry and raise a family. They'll go to church on Sunday and visit ailing Auntie Jess twice a week.

That little boy may finish his four years of eligibility but be a few credit hours short of his degree. He'll return home, go to work in the local factory on man the back of a garbage truck 40 hours a week. He'll be a legend and hero to his friends, though. They'll toast him in the local tavern he frequents on the weekend. They'll remember that clutch rebound against the #2 seed in the tournament to clinch the win or his long range three to send the conference championship game to overtime. And, maybe someday he enrolls in his local community college or goes back to his Alma mater and gets the bachelors' degree.

You know World Wide Wes is all over these pieces of chum, right? 

But, that little boy is what men's college basketball should be all about. Sadly,'s about 5 or 6 guys from the National Championship that will flirt with representation, agents, handlers and salaries next year. Modern English Literature 101 will probably take a back seat. 

You can tell me things aren't the way they used to be anymore. That things have changed. That it's a different world and my way of thinking is antiquated. Call men's college hoops NBA Lite if you want. I'm not listening or subscribing. 

Pardon me if I remain behind for awhile. Weather here suits my clothes a little better...

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