Tuesday Cardinal Couple - Coaching Updates

Tis the Season for New Coaches

Softball

Friday's Cardinal Couple edition brought the news of a new assistant coach for Field Hockey.

Cardinal Softball has added a new assistant coach as well, and this one will be a familiar face to long-time UofL Softball fans.  Stacey May-Johnson was a Volunteer Assistant Coach with Sandy Pearsall from 2008-2010 while she was pursuing her Master's of Science in physics.

May-Johnson has an impressive Softball resume in addition to her solid academic credentials.  She played her four years of NCAA softball at Iowa where she earned Big-Ten conference freshman of the year in 2003, followed up with three years of being selected to the All-Big-Ten Conference team as well as NFCA All-Midwest Region team.

After graduating from Iowa with a BA in Accounting and a BS in physics, Stacey played for the National Pro Fastpitch League's Chicago Bandits for four years (2006-2010), and followed that up with 2 years of playing on the US National Softball team (2011, 2012).  She served as an Assistant Coach at her alma mater, Iowa, from 2011-2014.

May-Johnson joins Courtney Scott as an Assistant Coach on the Sandy Pearsall squad, along with Jay Miller as a Volunteer Assistant Coach, and Lisa Pinkston as the Director of Operations for Softball.

Swimming and Diving

I wanted to pick up a couple of past announcements that we have been remiss in not covering here at Cardinal Couple.

Diving

Konzheng "KZ" Li has been added as a Diving Coach for the UofL Swimming and Diving team.

KZ has previous Head Diving Coach experience for college teams at Michigan, Minnesota, and George Washington where numerous of his divers earned conference championships, and made NCAA championship appearances.  Several divers under his tutelage have earned NCAA championships as well.

Li has also coached in Australia, and has served as a coach or head coach of some 20 US National Teams, including for the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta.

KZ's personal diving resume sports more than 50 international diving competitions, three of which were appearances in the Olympics with the Chinese National Team, including his very own Olympic medal, a bronze earned in 1984 in Los Angeles.

Li replaces the retiring Mike Zehnder.

Swimming

Also under Arthur Albiero, Associate Coach Ryan Wochomurka has been promoted to Associate Head Coach and Men's Recruiting Coordinator.

Wochomurka has been with the Cardinal program for seven seasons.  Ryan is an alumnus of Auburn, and was a member of the US National Swim Team from 2002-2004.

Sunday Cardinal Couple -- Cards face Idaho today @ 5:30 pm

SUNDAY CARDINAL COUPLE

- Louisville WBB faces Vandals in Iowa City today

- Softball splits against Rutgers @ Ulmer

- Congratulations Louisville MBB!

- Day One: NCAA WBB

- Contest standings after Day One


The University of Louisville Womens' Basketball team begins their quest in the NCAA Tournament with an opening round game against the Idaho Vandals today on the campus of the University of Iowa with a 5:30 tip off.

We covered the Vandals pretty extensively the other day here at the site, so...let's look at Louisville and our five keys to a Cardinal victory.

1) Start strong, finish strong. It may sound simplistic, but in Louisville's four losses this year...they've trailed early in three of them. All, of course, against UConn. The Cards did lead early against Kentucky but faltered at the end. Louisville needs to jump out to an early lead, continue to apply the pressure and finish with a flourish.

2) Guard the three. Idaho loves the three ball. They hit it with pretty good regularity also, so the Cards must get out on the shooters, make it tough on them and limit the chances if at all possible. A good pressure defense that throws the Vandals out of a rhythm would be the best possible scenario.

3) Strong on the boards. Louisville is tough to handle when Asia Taylor and Sara Hammond are scoring inside and grabbing rebounds. They'll need a good board effort out of Emmonnie Henderson and Cortnee Walton when they're in there and if Bria, Tia and Nita can grab a few caroms here and there...the more the merrier. Board supremacy!

4)  Schimmel magic. It'll be advantageous if Shoni is "on" and the threes are falling, the passing is accurate and if Jude contributes significant minutes with assists, steals and the occasional three. Here's hoping Holly Rowe and Brenda Van Lengen (the ESPN crew) have a lot to gush and ooohh about.

5) Let's see ya, Bria. Here's hoping that the Cardinal point guard can punish the Vandals defense with those mid-range jumpers and slashing drives to the basket. It'll give Idaho one more thing to worry about and free up the other UofL offensive weapons.

It should be fun...we'll have a recap in the Monday edition of CC...which we'll probably post early.

*                       *                       *                    *                  *

Louisville softball split with Rutgers Saturday afternoon at Ulmer Stadium. The Cards took the first game 10-6 but dropped the second by the same score...10-6.

Louisville 10 - Rutgers 6

The big noise was Whitney Arion who went 2-4 and blasted a three-run homer.

A rough start for the Cards, falling behind 5-0 in the first inning. They countered with two runs in the bottom of the first...loading the bases and getting two across on an error with Maggie Ruckenbrod at bat.

Rutgers made it 6-2 in the top of the third but Kayla Soles got that one back in the bottom of the fourth with a fence clearer.

The boom came in the fifth inning...Louisville getting a two RBI double from Maryssa Becker, Arion's three run blast and scores on a walk and wild pitch.

Rutgers 10 - Louisville 6

Rutgers started the second game the same way they did the first...with five runs in the first inning. Two walks and three singles...with a few wild pitches from Rachel LeCoq did the damage.

Soles popped another home run with Ruckenbrod on to cut the gap to 5-2 in the fourth. The teams traded runs in the fifth but Rutgers posted four scores in the sixth to go up 10-3. Louisville plated three runs in their final at bat...a Whitney Arion two-run blast made it 10-6 with no outs...but Rutgers reliever Alyssa Landrith shut down the final three UofL batters to end the game.

The teams play today at 2 p.m. It's even on 11.2 locally and Insight 432. Comcast, too...Our buddy Patty Norton and the world's most interesting man-beard Brian U'Sellis have the broadcast.


*                    *                     *                      *                    *


Congratulations to Rick Pitino and the guys for advancing to the Sweet Sixteen. Louisville struggled through the first half but still managed to lead St. Louis by nine after twenty minutes. St. Louis rallied to actually take the lead in the second half...after a slow Louisville start...but the Cards rallied and won going away 66-51.

Luke and Russ!


*                     *                     *                      *                   *

Bad hair day? Sheri headed home after one...

The first day of the women's tournament is in the books and there were a few surprises out there. How about BYU taking down future Cardinal conference mate NC State?

Or previous Cardinal opponent and future conference foe Florida State sending Iowa St. to the sidelines...on Iowa State's home court? Cal got all they wanted from a inspiring Fordham team before squeaking one out. And, our buddy the "Q" and his Syracuse team barely survived against the Chattanooga Choo-Choo's.

Heart as big as the Moon honors

This goes to WKU for the battle they gave Baylor. We saw earlier in the year how big Chastity Gooch could bring it. She showed the world last night. It was fun seeing Cards alumnae Michelle Clark-Heard, Candyce Bingham and Laura Terry on the sidelines urging on the Toppers. Great to see Jeffersonville's Jaylynn McClain have a good game.

Proud of ya Tops. C-USA has no idea what is in store for them next year.

Yeah, we pretty much owned you award

Did Robert Morris ever get off the bus to play Notre Dame?

The Irish are still undefeated. The game most of the nation wants to see is still possible (UConn v ND). Excuse us if we'd rather see a different Championship matchup.

Who IS this team ??? recognition

Fordham. Coach Lindsay Gottlieb is one of my favorites...as a few of you know. I was actually hoping she would be a first round flameout yesterday at the end of this one. Fordham, you've picked up a new fan...

16 more games today. Sleep? It can't wait. Remote control, don't fail me now. I DO think it stinks that ESPN decided to show NASCAR yesterday instead of hoops. You have the exclusive tournament rights and then decide to show a bunch of guys turning left for a few hours? And don't explain it away with this WatchESPN/ESPN 3 option crap. Give the gals their props and credit. NASCAR is all year. This is MARCH MADNESS!  

Boooo....

*                    *                   *                    *                    *

We have 16 contestants in the CARDINAL COUPLE Pick 'Em Challenge. After the first day of action, your bracket leader is...

Paulie! 

(Hey, I posted my picks for all to see. Failure to pay attention to them is your fault, not mine...)

Yes, the senile old fool went 14-2, with only NC. State and Oklahoma tripping up his bracket. WE still got a ballgame, though...with plenty of contestants snapping at his heels.

Yer stats:

Paulie                       14-2
Jeff McAdams            13-3
Charlyse                    13-3
Vivian                        13-3
Blue Lou                    13-3
David Watson             13-3
Jennifer B                  12-4
Sonja                         12-4
Joe Hill                      12-4
Kenny S                      12-4
Curtis F                      12-4
Gary W                       11-5
Willie Cat Fan             11-5
A Cardinal Chimp        11-5
Matthew M for Gov       9-7
The Other One             8-8

Good luck today!

paulie
...
..
.


     

Thursday Cardinal Couple - Valparaiso Softball

.
THURSDAY CARDINAL COUPLE


- Know the foe: Valparaiso Crusaders 


-Preakness Stakes Saturday


-Another ATayy episode

The University of Louisville Softball team will face the Valparaiso Crusaders in the first round of the NCAA Regional Softball tournament at Ulmer Stadium at 7 p.m. Friday evening. Valparaiso is a member of the Horizon League conference and went 42-17 during the regular season and conference tournament. They finished first in regular season play with a 19-5 conference record and won the Horizon Tournament. 

Alex Lagesse has a 1.98 ERA in
35 starts for Valpo

They captured the tournament after losing in first round play. Unlike the BIG EAST Conference Tournament, the Horizon League is double elimination...like the NCAA Regionals. Held at Valparaiso Stadium, the Crusaders lost to Butler 6-1 in their first game...but advanced through the losers bracket and met Loyola-Chicago in the finals. They had to win twice...and did, beating Loyola with successive 2-1 scores on Sunday, May 13th. 


The northern Indiana school has played one common BIG EAST opponent with the Cards...losing at Notre Dame before their conference play began. 

Sam McGee had a 2.81 ERA
in 23 starts for Valpo

In the pitching circle for Valpo, Alex Lagesse and Sam McGee share the duties. Lagesse, a senior from Beecher, IL. had a 22-9 record for the Crusaders, appearing in 42 games and starting 35 of them. She fanned 162 batters and was the starter and winning pitcher in the Horizon League Conference championship game. McGee is also a senior and was 15-5 for Valparaiso this year. She hails from Bloomington, MN and had 23 starts and 26 appearances this season. She struck out 79 opponents and was the starting pitcher in the Crusaders first game Sunday. 

Rutkowski has 14
home runs this year

When Valparaiso goes to the plate, Jordan Rutkowski does the most damage against opposing pitchers. She is batting .428 this season and had a team-high 14 home runs and 60 RBI's. The senior catcher is from Alden, NY.


Brittany Duncan is Valpo's designated hitter and also plays infield. She was second on the team with a .388 batting average and had 9 home runs and 51 RBI's...good for second place in all three stats. Duncan is just a freshman and calls Fairborn, OH her hometown. Jessica Marinec hits .331 for the Crusaders and plays second base. She led the squad with 44 runs scored and is a junior out of Alsip, IL. 

Stevens has Valpo on a
upward swing 

This will be Valparaiso's first-ever apperance in the NCAA Tournament and some of the credit goes to second year head coach Jordan Stevens. Stevens came from D III school Union (NY) College and has 76 wins in his two years as the Valpo skipper. 

Will Cards leading hitter Kristin
Austin be in the starting lineup?

No small task for the Crusaders, having to face the BIG EAST regular season and conference champs at their home field to start the NCAA Tournament. Louisville certainly cannot afford to overlook Valparaiso, though...and the Cards will need to get out the bats early and set the pace in this one. Not sure how right-fielder Kristin Austin is doing with the hamstring injury...but it wouldn't be a bad thing to have a .400 hitter out there against Valpo. 


We won't try to guess who Coach Pearsall will start in the circle for this one...but we'd like to see torrid Tori Collins out there. Means she'll probably go with Caralisa Connell...either is capable of ending the Crusaders conquest. 


*******************************************

The Preakness Stakes, the second jewel of horse racing's Triple Crown for 3 year olds...will take place Saturday at Pimlico Race Track in Maryland. Bodemeister has been confirmed as an entry and will try to turn the tables on Kentucky Derby winner I'll Have Another. 


Much ado each year about changing the format of the Triple Crown. Dropping Maryland and Pimlico and going to California or Chicago for the second leg. Fagettaboutit. Unless you've been to the Preakness at Pimlico, you can't really understand the pride, the tradition and historical value of this leg of the Triple Crown. We've had the fortune of going twice. We'll go again, someday.  


11 horses will contest the mile and 3/16ths course. Post positions:


1. Tiger Walk                         7. Bodemeister
2. Teeth of the Dog               8. Daddy Nose Best
3. Pretension                         9. I'll Have Another
4. Zetterholm                       10. Optimizer
5. Went the Day Well            11. Cozzetti
6. Creative Cause




There's also some pretty good racing out there on Friday. A 13 race card with eight stakes races. Their version of Kentucky Oaks Day for the fillies. The Miss Preakness S stakes, Black Eyed Susan and Pimlico Special headline the card. 


Churchill Downs is running both days as well and it's a great opportunity for you to get out and watch the best in live racing and simulcasting.

If you go, stop by and say "Hi!" to Jo-An at the paddock bar on the first floor inside next to the bricks where they saddle the horses . She'll be mixing up Black-Eyed Susans both days and they're not bad at all. Just ask Sonja. She'll want to know how you knew her name. Point to her name-tag first and then tell her Paul and Sonja sent you. Maybe she'll still serve you. It's a souvenir glass...can't beat that.  


We'll have our Preakness picks for you tomorrow. Read them at your own risk. David Watson, always one step ahead, has already sent his to us. He likes:


1) Optimizer - Gotta stay with D.Wayne Lukas
2) Creative Cause - Wasn't that bad in Derby
3) I'll Have Another - Not enough distance to close
4) Bodemeister - Speed won't hold like at Churchill

Great. Now we got Watson thinking he's a handicapper. With comments even. Pretty soon, he'll be forecasting BIG EAST Football and analyzing NASCAR races. 


Just another sign that the Apocalypse isn't too far away... 


*******************************************

Finally, ATayy is back with another episode. This time she gets in front of the camera to do a Cardinal flavored version of MTV Cribs. The highlight is when she picks up a British accent and invades Sherrone Vails' room for a surprise visit to see how she is "in her natural habitat." Nita Slaughter co-stars in the latest video. Funny stuff! 


We fear she'll show up at our secret lair deep beneath the Parrish House one day for a expose on how CARDINAL COUPLE is written. WE have the staff chimps and Bill the Goat on 24/7 DEFCON 5 alert status for her. Poobah has been instructed to run a diversion if it happens and show her and the film crew 80 Under 80 instead...along with serving snacks and Snapple. No Bud Select for these girls. 


Link below:


A-Tayy's Cribs

..
..

Tuesday Cardinal Couple...Hoops, Re-Alignment and Softball

.
TUESDAY CARDINAL COUPLE


- Cards looking good for women's hoops 


- BIG 12? It's a soap opera! 


- Softball looks to expand on best season ever.


( We turn the Tuesday edition of CARDINAL COUPLE over to our special correspondent David Watson today.) 

It's official. The official announcement by the NCAA that Tia Gibbs and Monique Reid are cleared for playing status this year is something most Cardinal WBB fans figured would happen. It's still good to know, though. You never really know just what those folks up in Indy are going to come up with. 


So, the speculation starts (five months in advance) on who will start for Jeff Walz's 2012-13 team, how the playing rotation will work out and how far this team can get. 


And, basically, that is all it is. 


Speculation.


Only Jeff Walz and his staff can make that call. And, they'll make the decision after watching practice after practice and seeing what works. It's fun to guess, though. I looked at the anticipated roster for the season that thought that a starting lineup of Shoni, Mo, Tia, Asia and Bria looked pretty good. 


People will disagree with this, I am sure. Louisville has quite a few options available and depth certainly won't be a problem. 


Five months. Let the speculation fly. 


********************************************** 


More speculation about the BIG 12 takes front stage again. Now the rumors are that Florida State might be looking to leave the A.C.C. and go westward. I'm even hearing Clemson wouldn't mind tagging along. 


Will this re-alignment soap opera ever end? 


It's particularly bothersome when you stop and think about the reason for it. 


Football.


And, football = dollars for college athletic programs, if you (or your conference) are good at it. The lure of multi-year television contracts. Packed stadiums on Saturdays. 


Women's sports are the fall-gals here. 


Sending a soccer team or field hockey squad 2000 miles away for a game just doesn't make sense. Not exactly a bus trip away. I don't mean to make any sympathy overtures for West Virginia, but they're joining a conference that is strong in women's softball. They don't play softball at West Virginia. Will they now try to field a team? Or will they just save money on not having to go to Stillwater and Lawrence from Morgantown to play a few seven inning games? 


You know how it goes. A school leaves a conference. Another school leaves another conference to replace them. Apply as needed and call me if the pain worsens. 


The Big East isn't much about the east anymore. The Atlantic Coast Conference has those noted east coast seaports Syracuse and Pittsburgh now. I guess it's time for Purdue and Miami to join the Pacific 12. 


Wake me when it's over.


Makes you think that if the old Metro Conference could have stayed together, it wouldn't have been a bad football conference. Georgia Tech, Florida State, Louisville, Cincinnati, South Carolina, Virginia Tech, Southern Miss, South Florida. 


Even Memphis and Tulane (every conference needs a couple of teams to beat up on, right?)


Of course, St. Louis and Virginia Commonwealth wouldn't have prospered too well in this alignment. Unless the league officials would have allowed the St. Louis Rams and Washington Redskins from the NFL to "fill in" for them. Based on the seasons those two have had lately, neither would have contended for the Metro Conference football title. 


That conference would have had some pretty decent women's basketball and softball, too, if it had managed to develop into a all-sports conference. 


The good thing, I suppose, is that if you don't like the current lineup in the conference your team is affiliated in--stay tuned. It most likely will change.


After all, football is the economic engine, right? And engines run better when they're overhauled. 


********************************************** 


Cardinal softball. Just an amazing season. Did you watch the final of the BIG EAST Softball Tournament? Were you worried when Louisville fell behind 3-0 to Notre Dame? 


I wasn't.


Time after time this season, Softball has exceed expectations and pulled out games when it looked like they wouldn't. 


(OK, maybe I was a little worried.) 


And, guess who's coming back to Ulmer? That's right, the Kentucky Wildcats. They'll have their hands full with Michigan to open up and there's a chance that they and Louisville might not meet in the Regional. 


But, wouldn't it be great if they did? 


Looks like the early forecast is calling for great weather this weekend for the games. 


(UofL will be running a free shuttle for fans from Papa John's Cardinal Stadium to Ulmer Friday and Saturday. Shuttle starts at 2 p.m. Friday and noon Saturday.) 


Go, Cards Go! Or as Sonja has been saying:


Go Tori
Go Taner
Go Maggie
Get another banner.


(Thanks for filling in today, David! Got a take? E-mail us at: cardinalcouple@insightbb.com or leave a comment below.) 


You can also e-mail David directly at mrwatsonipresume@insightbb.com




.
..
...

SUNDAY CARDINAL COUPLE -HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

.
SUNDAY CARDINAL COUPLE WILDCAT WRAP-UP


(Dear readers...for the last couple of years, we've run a parody of the blog on April's Fool Day. WE scared a lot of people last year with it...so be advised that the following articles ARE parodies, NOT TRUE and just our annual April Fools Edition. We have added a brief paragraph or so after each entry with an ACTUAL real summary of the event.)


Enjoy.


-PITINO fired after loss to UK


-LADY CARDS Softball disbanded after DePaul loss


-CARDINAL COUPLE to shutdown


*****************************************************************************


Popular UofL Coach fired after eight-point loss to UK
-New Orleans, LA.

"I never should have
replaced you, Denny."

Hours after the University of Louisville lost to Kentucky 69-61 in the semi-finals of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, head coach Rick Pitino was fired by athletic director Tom Jurich in what can only be described as a bizarre incident. 


Standing in the middle of Bourbon Street Sunday morning and wearing a World War II General's uniform, Tom Jurich made the announcement to a shocked and surprised throng of party-goers celebrating in the aftermath of Saturday night's games. 

"I always wanted to be a pirate
with a parrot on my shoulder." 

"It is my great and esteemed pleasure to announce that I, Tom Jurich, being of sound mind and body and in no way affected by the Hurricanes I've been drinking since 9 p.m. this evening...well, I've canned Rick Pitino as the coach of the Cardinals. It was that or just shoot him. I can't get a prison charge this way, so Ricky...you're outta here! See ya and wouldn't want to be ya! Adios amigo!"


After shouting the words through a bullhorn in front of popular nightclub establishment PAT O'BRIENS, Jurich dramatically raised a hand in the air, stuck his thumb out and pointed down the street.

"One more pitiful bowl appearance and
I'm hiring you back to replace that idiot
Charlie Strong" 

"Tell your story walking, pal...because your new title is EX-UofL coach!" Jurich bellowed and then suddenly sat down on the curb, appearing unsteady and wobbly on his feet. "I'm gonna tell all of you something, see...and you damn well better listen good, pal. This whole week has been a total abomination. WE can't do this against Kentucky, we shouldn't be in the Final Four, WE couldn't shoot the side of a barn with a shotgun. I'm running out of boxer shorts...I'm just sick and tired of it all!" 


Jurich then staggered to his feet again and started wildly waving his arms in the air, nearly striking sportswriter Howie Lindsey...who was standing next to Jurich and dressed as the character Bluto from the comic strip "Popeye". 

"Fans like these two make me want to give up this
job and go dig ditches. Hillbilly trailer trash..."

"And it's all Rick's fault. All of it! I build a big, freakin' arena downtown and he can't even beat South Florida in it! Even Walz beat South Florida and that man couldn't coach his way out of a parking spot on a bicycle! So...Farewell. Good bye. Auf Wiedersehen. Adieu! I love that song! I wanted to be in that movie but...no! Tommy has to be athletic director. Tommy has to be a placekicker. Tommy has to TAKE OUT THE STINKIN' GARBAGE!" 


Jurich then lurched forward and started walking down the street, singing the popular song from The Sound of Music...stopping only briefly when Lindsey asked who would  replace Pitino.

"I should be in this cast photo. With my arm
around Julie Andrews." 

"Congratulations, big boy! You've got the job." he snarled and disappeared into the crowd, singing loudly and high-fiving UK fans. 


Coach Pitino was informed of the news as he got out of a limo in front of the Krystal on Bourbon Street and asked for his reaction. 

RICK AND HIS ASSISTANT
COACHES SPOT A UFO
FLYING INSIDE THE KFC YUM
CENTER AND TRY TO ESTABLISH
COMMUNICATION.

"I could care less." Rick chuckled. "I've got more money that most third-world countries. I'll just go sit at the big table with Charles Barkley and those other CBS bozos. Maybe I'll build a boat and sail around the Keys...playing Jimmy Buffett music and pretending I'm a pirate. Maybe I'll take Gorgui and Chane with me and we'll smuggle cigars out of Cuba. I might grow my hair out and join Journey. I love those guys. Don't stop believing...Hey, whose up for burgers and shakes? My treat!" 


(The University of Louisville lost a hard fought game against Kentucky Saturday night 69-61. The Cards overcame several double-digit deficits and tied the contest at 49-49 after a Peyton Siva 3 with nine minutes to go. UK responded with a 8-0 run, though and held on for the win. A great coaching job by Pitino last night. Peyton Siva had 11 points, Chane Behanan 10 and Gorgui Dieng grabbed 12 rebounds and had four blocked  shots for Louisville. And, Rick Pitino is still the Louisville head coach this morning and Tom Jurich the best athletic director in the world.)


**************************************************************************

A humiliating loss to a
school that doesn't even
play football

The University of Louisville's softball team lost their first game of the season to DePaul University 7-1. A second game was scheduled, but Sandy Pearsall took the team to the locker room after the first contest and read a statement to media and fans over the Blue Demon public address system shortly thereafter.


"Hello there ladies and gentlemen! As of five minutes ago, I have disbanded the University of Louisville softball team and have accepted a position as assistant head usher at Stonybrook Cinemas. I told the team before the season began that if they lost a game, I was going to give them all bus fare and send them home to their mamas and daddies. Well..it look them a long time to lose one...but now that they have...it is now the end of 12 years of CARDINAL SOFTBALL. 

"We've tried to teach her for four years to stand up. "

"We've had it rough over these past twelve years. We play on an antiquated, turf- bare sandlot that doesn't even have toilets or a concession stand. We started selling beer this year. I've never see so many AARP- aged people run out of a place, scratching their heads and wondering where they could go relieve themselves after a belly full of suds in my life! It snows here until May. You tell me how you play softball in 20 degree weather and my outfielders are building snowmen and throwing snowballs at each other in the third inning." 


"It's more than that. Jurich told me he'd slashed the budget 90% from last year. Said he had to pony up some more bucks to keep Charlie Strong here. Told me I could buy the team bats and gloves at the thrift store. Took all the seats out of the stadium and sold them to a revival preacher in Biloxi. He even sold the tarp we use to cover the field to a travelling circus." 

"It's bad enough I have to coach in a back alley
near the Interstate...then I get people like
this showing up to watch games..Jeezz!"

"So, I've decided to just get out of this whole deal and collect tickets at the cinema. It's a great job. You take the ticket. You smile at the customers and you tell them to enjoy the movie. When they're all seated and the movie begins, you sit in a comfy chair and eat popcorn and Goobers until the next movie starts. And, I'm making $2 more an hour than I was at UofL. I've enjoyed my time here on campus. Yeah. Right. I'd rather go through a root canal a day with no Novocaine."


After her remarks, Pearsall put 'Sweet Caroline' on the PA system and did cartwheels across the field before leaving in a exhaust-belching 1991 Ford Pinto. A collection of remaining players, support staff and some of the 3rd grade girls from Jesuit Day Grade School eventually took the field and defeated DePaul 4-3 in the second game. They named themselves the Arthur Street Assassins and plan on joining the Sunbelt Conference once they return to Louisville. 


(Louisville DID lose their first game of the season to DePaul yesterday 7-1 in the first game but came back to take the nightcap 4-3. DePaul jumped out to an early 2-0 lead in the second inning on a Katelyn Braget home run and built up a 4-0 lead before the Cards got their lone run in the top of the sixth when Kristin Austin tripled and came home on a Katie Keller sacrifice fly. The Blue Demons added three runs in the home half of the sixth for the final 7-1 score. Tori Collins (13-1) took the loss, giving up four runs and four hits in four innings.


The Cards jumped on DePaul early in the second game with two runs in the first inning. Jennifer Esteban singled to start the game and scored on a Austin single. Austin got to the plate on a Keller single. 


After DePaul tied the contest in the bottom of the first, the teams remained scoreless until the top of the fifth. Esteban and Austin pounded back-to-back doubles off Blue Demon pitcher Bree Brown....Esteban scoring. Austin reached the plate to make it 4-2 on a Hannah Kiyohara single. DePaul would score the final run of the game in the bottom of the fifth. Caralisa Connell got the win for Louisville, going 5.1 innings and allowing three runs on seven hits. Chelsea Leonard finished the sixth inning for Connell and Tori Collins came on to relieve Leonard in the seven and got the Blue Demons out in order. 


***************************************************************************************

Maybe we could sell the website to
this guy and he could post articles
about what kind of burger toppings he likes.

It's been a fun two and one half years being the fan voice of UofL women's sports, but WE decided Friday that we were going to shut down the website and concentrate on driving around the metro area and looking for potholes. It's pretty easy stuff...you drive down a street and if you see a pothole...first you avoid it and then you write down the address where you saw it. Then, you call the road maintenance guys and they come out and fill it. 


We're not sure if we can get paid for this or not...but we're not getting paid to do CARDINAL COUPLE either and this will give us a chance to get out, drive around and look at pretty flowers and see what's happening in different neighborhoods. Maybe stop for a coffee or ice cream or a walk through the park. Maybe we can get the city or state to just give us a tank of gas every three or four days. That would work. 

(Sonja to Paul) "If  you write another article about Becky Burke
I swear to the Holy Jesus that I'll cut
off your fingertips while you sleep. Let the poor girl
graduate and get on with her life, OK? "

We wanted to wait until the basketball game was played to tell you readers about this. We weren't going to bother and tell any of our contributing writers about it...all they do is complain that Coach Walz doesn't play Sara Hammond enough and pester us for PANERA Cards three of four times a week. And the upkeep of a bunch of unruly chimps and having to drag Bill the Goat out of perilous situations every week....who needs it? All the moronic e-mails and comments we get daily and spam artists, phishing and stupid bots out there that want us to refinance a mortgage that we don't have or try Viagra, tropical berry juices and off-shore casino gambling. 

A picture of the only readers we had in the month of March
Some of them can't even stand up on their own.

Hey, we're tired and my fingers bleed constantly from typing up this drivel for an unappreciative, illiterate and gaseous readership. Blah, blah, blah. 


We'll still leave the site access up, so those with writing and administrative privileges can log on and putter around here if they want. We'll see how that goes. Most of them couldn't write a two sentence paragraph about walking across the room and putting a plate on the table...but, most days we can't either...so what does it really matter? 


David Watson is the worst...Sonja spends hours going through the stuff he sends our way, running spell check and removing all the obscenities, profanities, bigoted references and death threats he puts in about Obama and Col. Sanders in each article he submits.  The man is dumber than a box of rocks and less interesting. He asks trees for advice. Seriously. We don't think he knows what periods or paragraphs are...much less how they should be used. 

Paul wants to form a speed metal band
with these three guys and give
up writing. Hello, Detroit!!

It's been great, CARDINAL COUPLE readers. Go check out some other website...we really don't care...or maybe turn off the laptop and do something productive like reading a book or performing volunteer work. 


Last person on the site please turn out the lights when leaving. We're off to the Ford Taurus and the open road, baby! 


(Fear not, readers. We aren't going anywhere. WE feel blessed and fortunate to have a website that started with a few friends and Google searchers reading and now receives an average of more than 2000 hits a day We marvel on how we have great writers like David, Jenny and Sandy. WE also appreciate all of our readers -- even the ones in Connecticut -- and the comments and great Internet finds from people like Commish Mark, Ellis and Shirley, PDX Phil and so many more of you. 

You are CARDINAL COUPLE. If it's wasn't for you...there would be no CARDINAL COUPLE. You (and us) are the fans. And, that's what this site is about. 

Thanks for riding along with us this far and we hope you'll continue the journey!


And, thanks for reading the PARODY April Fools Edition of CARDINAL COUPLE. See ya tomorrow! )
.
..