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CARDINAL COUPLE RADIO'S LATEST BROADCAST IS UP AND RUNNING IN THE ARCHIVED SOUNDCLOUD. . We are all about the joy and excitement of UofL women's sports from a fan's perspective! CLICK THE CRESCENT HILL MICROPHONE TO HEAR OUR LATEST BROADCAST !! ***DOWNLOAD THE WCHQ APP*** AND PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO CARDINAL COUPLE AT THE PAYPAL LINK BELOW! YOU CAN ALSO SEND YOUR DONATION TO: CARDINAL COUPLE LLC c/o Paul Sykes PO BOX 91521 LOUISVILLE, KY 40291 ( make checks payable to CARDINAL COUPLE) Thank you for considering!

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Friday, April 1, 2016

APRIL FOOLS EDITION -- CARDINAL COUPLE to merge with THE WALKING DEAD Website



( Today is April 1st and we bring you our annual April Fools Parody column. The following is a parody and not factual. Enjoy our feeble attempt at humor and prank someone today...) 

THE WALKING CARDINAL TO DEBUT SOON



TAILGATING WILL BECOME MUCH MORE
EXCITING
Cardinal Couple has decided to merge operations with the website of the popular show THE WALKING DEAD and will begin operations under the new name 
THE WALKING CARDINAL on April 2nd. 

CARDINAL COUPLE co-owner Paulie Sykes brings the news:

"We are excited to bring the joy and excitement of Louisville women's sports to a larger vein and combine our journalistic aspects with the thrill and danger of killing walkers and surviving in a zombie society. Imaging the excitement of combining sports pursuits with kill shots to a rotting corpse's forehead and getting splattered with rancid blood while scoring a goal or making a steal!" 



WE HOPE ATTENDANCE WON'T SUFFER WITH THE INTRODUCTION
OF BITERS TO THE EVENTS. 
The idea occurred to Paulie while watching Louisville Volleyball earlier this year decimate an opponent who seemed to be zombified by the Cards' serves, kills and blocks. Paulie goes further in his decisioning...

"Why not spice it up a bit and put some biters out on the court and maybe the term 'kill' in Volleyball would take on a new meeting. Imaging Maya McClendon  spiking one over the net and taking a Zombie's head off? Or Hannah Koloski streaking down the lacrosse field with the ball and eliminating walkers on her way to the crease? How about Myisha Hines-Allen clearing the paint of a few un-dead as she drives to the hoop for a score. Why...the possibilities are endless!"

Initial reaction from the Louisville women's sports communities was mixed. A certain high-profile coach who would not go on record remarked: 



CLEARING THE LANE COULD TAKE ON A WHOLE
NEW MEANING
"Well, it would certainly make defense a much more important aspect of our game. I'd want our players in bite-proof uniforms out there, of course...with head gear. It's hard enough to recruit these kids...I don't want to lose any because of bites." 

A high-ranking UofL administrator, who insisted on anonymity, was appalled:

"We have a hard enough time with visiting fan bases for football games. The last thing we need is FSU or West Virginia fans showing up here with rifles and swords." 

The Walking Dead, when contacted, refused to comment on the merger. It is reported, though, that Michonne and Daryl were spotted boarding a plane headed to Louisville.

One of softball's prime players is thrilled about the merger. 

" I'd love to be able to use my bat for something else beside getting base hits. Running around first, taking off someone's head and then eliminating the second baseman...yeah, I'm good with that. Imagine Maryssa Becker in the circle, turning loose her fast ball and knocking the batter's head off." 


YOU CAN EXPECT SOME CHANGES IN UOFL
UNIFORMS...
The merger comes with costs. Co-host of the CARDINAL COUPLE RADIO HOUR Worldwide Jeff McAdams has decided to limit his public appearances at events where walkers will be present. He explains: 

" I'm not very good with weapons and I don't want to have to worry about carrying a hatchet with me and always looking around while tweeting out field hockey or basketball information."


CORTNEE AND GRINER PRACTICE
THE ZOMBIE WALK AGAINST SHONI
Anyone who has a good source of small, hand-held weapons or a collection of un-dead we can purchase is encouraged to contact the CARDINAL COUPLE offices. 

As a result of the merger, we're expecting that our on-campus interviews in coaches' offices will probably be curtailed and we probably won't get many in-studio guests for the critically acclaimed CARDINAL COUPLE RADIO show.

...ONCE AGAIN, THE ARTICLE ABOVE IS OUR ANNUAL APRIL FOOLS' PARODY. ALTHOUGH WE'D LOVE TO SEE EMMONNIE HENDERSON CLEAR A FIELD OF WALKERS WITH HER DISCUS...PLEASE BE ASSURED THAT ZOMBIES AND CARDINALS WON'T BE COMBINING...






paulie
xxxxx 

11 comments:

  1. Love it, Paulie! Can't wait to hear post-game comments from Rick or Daryl after a win. Being a fan of the show, I love this potential combination.

    The Real Joe Hill (or the Real Hoe Jill)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Now That's Funny. Nice Piece.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Would love to see E clear a field of walkers with the discus, javelin and shot put

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tivkets available for a suite to the final 4 womens games.

    $100 for Sunday or Tuesday games $200 for both days. Tickets are for admission suite and i believe a seat in front of suite - i have not checked mine.

    Tickets are in Louisville through Friday night but would need to meet person holding them in Indy after Saturday daytime.
    E-mail Sandy if interested
    Currently 1-5 tockets available. First come first served.
    Swalker0005@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. I want to see walkers on the opposing end of the court on a fast break. Great pic of Shoni in the article. I am going to use it as my Facebook picture. I'm still going to Indy Sunday and will cheer for Syracuse for you Paulie. The Deb Factor

    ReplyDelete
  6. No April fools joke
    Azura Stevens and Angels Salvodores move on from Duke. ACC continues to lose best talent. Getting obvious now

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not sure if it's just an ACC thing or Duke thing...Salvadores can head to Europe, where she shined in international competition and make a very decent wage and living. She also may have heard the footsteps of Lexie Brown, who transferred in from Maryland and will probably take over at point. Stevens and Chidom appeared to work pretty well in the paint together...so this one is a bit of a surprise...it'll be interesting to see where she ends up.

    Paulie

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jatarie White is leaving South Carolina. She was on everyone's list as a must have post three years ago but injuries and A'ja Wilson diminished her playing time. Wasn't she also high on Walz's list back then?

    Walkers scare me Paulie. I wouldn't survive a Zombie Apocalypse unless I was by myself in a castle with a deep moat.

    Curtis Franklin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How hard does she want to work? That is the observation. Never leave the compound in a Zombie Apocalypse. Rule #1.

      Paulie

      Delete
  9. I forgot where Lexie Brown went to. That's good news I think. Without her they would be really in trouble. She can't be too pleased about Stevens. Getting to be like NFL free agency

    ReplyDelete

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