Cardinal Couple: Clay Travis

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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Thursday Cardinal Couple -- Honors for Shoni

THURSDAY CARDINAL COUPLE

- Honors for Shoni

- One writer's opinion on "Big Blue Nation".

Senior Cardinal guard Shoni Schimmel has been named to the John L. Wooden Award Preseason Top 30 watch list. The players named are the early front runners for college basketball's top individual honor.

Selections for the list were made by a poll of WBB media writers. No...they didn't ask us here at CARDINAL COUPLE. Unless Bill the Goat ate the invite.

Shoni was the MVP of the Oklahoma City Regional last season. She was also first-team All-BIG EAST and a WBCA All-Region selection.

She led the Cards with a 14.2 average last season and 3.6 assists.

Here's the 30:

Preseason Top 30, Women

Name	Height	Class	Position	University	Conference
Natalie Achonwa	6-3	Sr.	F	Notre Dame	ACC
Rachel Banham	5-9	Jr.	G	Minnesota	Big Ten
Brittany Boyd	5-9	Jr.	G	California	Pac-12
Gennifer Brandon	6-2	Sr.	F	California	Pac-12
Hallie Christofferson	6-3	Sr.	F	Iowa State	Big 12
Jerica Coley	5-8	Sr.	G	FIU	Conference USA
Jazmine Davis	5-7	Jr.	PG	Washington	Pac-12
Diamond DeShields	6-1	Fr.	G	North Carolina	ACC
Stefanie Dolson	6-5	Sr.	C	UConn	The American
Aaryn Ellenberg	5-7	Sr.	G	Oklahoma	Big 12
Bashaara Graves	6-2	So.	F	Tennessee	SEC
Chelsea Gray	5-11	Sr.	G	Duke	ACC
Cassie Harberts	6-2	Sr.	F	USC	Pac-12
Bria Hartley	5-8	Sr.	G	UConn	The American
Jordan Hooper	6-2	Sr.	F	Nebraska	Big Ten
Tricia Liston	6-1	Sr.	G	Duke	ACC
Maggie Lucas	5-10	Sr.	G	Penn State	Big Ten
Tyuanna Marshall	5-9	Sr.	G	Georgia Tech	ACC
Kayla McBride	5-11	Sr.	G	Notre Dame	ACC
Xylina McDaniel	6-2	So.	F	North Carolina	ACC
Kaleena Mosqueda-Lewis	6-0	Jr.	F	UConn	The American
Chiney Ogwumike	6-4	Sr.	F	Stanford	Pac-12
Theresa Plaisance	6-5	Sr.	F	LSU	SEC
Shoni Schimmel	5-6	Jr.	G	Louisville	The American
Meighan Simmons	5-9	Sr.	G	Tennessee	SEC
Odyssey Sims	5-8	Sr.	G	Baylor	Big 12
DeNesha Stallworth	6-3	Sr.	F	Kentucky	SEC
Breanna Stewart	6-4	So.	F	UConn	The American
Alyssa Thomas	6-2	Sr.	F	Maryland	ACC
Elizabeth Williams	6-3	Jr.	C/F	Duke	ACC

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BAD MOUTHING BIG BLUE?

(The article below may be one of the most controversial and demeaning articles ever written about our rivals to the East and their fan base. No, I didn't write it...and it does not necessarily reflect the opinons and views of CARDINAL COUPLE. Read at your own risk. The author uses naughty words. ) -Paulie

The Ten Dumbest Fan Bases in America: #2 The Kentucky Wildcats

Published on: October 22, 2013 | Written by: Clay Travis

What would happen if you took the worst parts of the Midwest and combined it with the worst parts of the South?

You'd have the state of Kentucky.

Kentucky is the chinstrap bearded white guy in the oversized jean shorts and high top tennis shoes who rolls up to your tailgate and says, "Yo, where the bitches at?"

Not surprisingly, "the bitches" are never with him.

And who do the vast majority of dumb Kentuckians root for? Kentucky's basketball team, of course.

Kentucky basketball fans are the dumbest basketball fans in the country and there isn't a close second.
Intelligent Kentucky basketball fans -- and there are at least a handful -- solemnly acknowledge this fact.

While every other Southern school is obsessed with football, Kentucky, forever unable to compete in football, adopted basketball as its chosen sport of choice. That doesn't stop Kentucky basketball fans from choosing other football teams to root for either. Kentucky basketball fans will root for Ohio State, Tennessee, even, of late, and this fan has to be the worst on earth, Alabama for football.
There is no worse human being on earth than a Kentucky basketball fan and an Alabama football fan.

Have you no shame, Wildcat fans?

Of course not. The man they named their arena after, Adolph Rupp, actually got the NCAA death penalty for a year.

What can you say? Cheating is in the Wildcat fan DNA, right down to its present day savior, John Calipari.

John Calipari is the only man alive who has twice had NCAA Final Fours stricken from his record. When he coached at Memphis, Kentucky fans hated him and called him a cheating liar. The moment the Wildcats hired him he became a saint who was unfairly maligned by everyone.

Make no mistake about it, Kentucky is a very dumb state. But unlike other dumb states, there's no real dilution of the stupid when it comes to who to root for in the state of Kentucky. There are no pro sports franchises in the state siphoning off a few idiots, and Louisville is a substantial minority fan base when it comes to rooting interest in the state. If you root for Louisville you either live in Louisville or you went to the school.

If you root for Kentucky you probably failed the GED.
Twice.

What's the dumbest stereotypical Kentucky fan like in his element?

He lives in a mini-trailer behind his mom and dad's actual trailer.

The trailer is made to be pulled behind a truck, but there are no cement blocks to hold it up when it's not attached to a truck so when you enter the "house" you have to walk uphill to the back.
The only furniture is a bed, which is constantly sliding down towards the door.

Inside the trailer there is one poster, a faded Rick Pitino Kentucky Wildcats schedule from 1992 that
is affixed to the ceiling above where the bed is supposed to be. Occasionally he has pretend conversations with Rick Pitino after he's had too much to drink, but he's ashamed of this fact and only admitted it to his second wife once and, DAMNED IF THAT BITCH DIDN'T USE IT TO KEEP CUSTODY OF THEIR LABRADOR RETRIEVER MIX NAMED NAZR.

He has worn a Jeff Sheppard jersey to four consecutive weddings, only three of which were his own.
His three wives have had six children while married to him, but he has failed to be the father five different times when he was tested for child support.

The sixth child was brown and they didn't test him to see if he was the father.

Secretly he's hoping that Tiffanye -- with an e, yes, that's how you really spell it -- wasn't lying when she told him that Tony Delk was the baby daddy.

But he kind of doubts that Tony Delk hangs out at the Frankfort Ruby Tuesday.

Although come to think of it, that kid really didn't have a neck either.

When his first wife, Melodie -- she pronounced it Melodie instead of Melodee, which he always
thought was kind of creepy -- left him on Halloween night while she was still dressed in her slutty Walter McCarty costume, she said, "G-- Damn you all to hell, you don't even live in the suburbs of Frankfort. Frankfort is 45 minutes from here!"

That made him kind of sad because Frankfort is a bad ass town.
You know who is from Frankfort?
Johnny F'ing Depp.

Johnny F'ing Depp could have been born anywhere in the world and he was born in Frankfurt. So there.

He actually lives in between Paris and Frankfort in a town without a name.

In addition to Kentucky basketball, Johnny Depp being from Frankfort, and what Rick Pitino looks like shirtless, he is proud of other, unexpected things. For instance, he regularly praises the "cave systems" of Kentucky when he calls in to talk Wildcat basketball.

He has been to Mammoth Cave for 42 consecutive years and he recently got a tattoo of Mammoth Cave on his right arm.

Left arm tattoo?
A picture of Rick Pitino, of course.

The only time he leaves the state is for Kentucky basketball games in Nashville or Atlanta.

Last year he made $12,462 working part-time at Walgreen's before taxes and spent $4,828 on SEC tourney and NCAA basketball tickets.

He owns 12 different versions of the UK 2K t-shirts and thinks whoever came up with the connection between UK and 2k is a "genius."

He doesn't have a television in his trailer so he has to watch the UK games in his parent's trailer.

When he knocked on the trailer door late to watch a late night game from Hawaii, his dad once showed up at the door completely naked holding a shotgun.

"You crazy knocking on a man's trailer door this late at night? It's so dark out here I thought you were Tony Delk," his dad said.
"Wait, dad, has Tony Delk really been coming around here?"
"Never mind," his dad said.
Then his dad watched the entire Kentucky game with him naked while cleaning his shotgun.
Last year he failed the GED for the fourth time, but he's planning on a fifth try.

Why?

Because Rick Pitino tells him he can do it late at night when they talk to each other.
C-A-T-S...CATS, CATS, CATS!

YOU CAN COMMENT IF YOU WISH AT THE SITE LINKED BELOW.

http://outkickthecoverage.com/clays-column.php

-Paulie

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The other co-owner and voice of reason....the lovely Sonja...who returns to us on a permanent basis after what can be called an "interesting" time at Rivals. In her words..."you work, slave, research and study for hours and build a site... a women's board. You spend hours on a three column article and several of the readers decide to take aim at you when all you're trying to do is enlighten. I've never seen so many mis-spellings of Louisville WBB players names anywhere...which made me think I was dealing with third graders over there... I have decided to stay off that street and source from here on out and I'm so glad to be back with those who love and appreciate me... not with haters and self-anointed experts " An avid fan of native gardening, hiking and the Smoky Mountains....she loves German potato pancakes and Led Zeppelin....and reminds you to plant native species. I've only seen her mad once (when she was ready to punch out another woman writer who was spreading lies about her) and I've got a feeling that might be a typhoon you want to steer clear of. One of the original writers on the site (with Paulie and David Watson), she has returned. Not as a columnist, but as a proof-reader, confidant and one to bounce thoughts and ideas off of. She's tired of guys with very limited women's basketball knowledge but huge egos calling her out when they are usually chauvinistic, and can be compared to the dog outside barking at something he can't see...We welcome her back and know she'll enjoy the calm waters here. You've got nothing you need to prove or defend with us....you are among those who love you.

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CARDINAL COUPLE uses photos from all sources in the daily columns that we present to you. If we've used a photo you have taken and want published credit it for it...just contact us and we'll be glad to do so. Shoot, we might even write a feature article about you and call your Mom and tell her what a good son or daughter you are. WE avoid pictures that may be subject to copyright. Our legal advisors are busy enough chasing ambulances and wheelchairs when they're not trying to figure out trifecta plays at Churchill. Some of the photos are actually taken by the staff of CARDINAL COUPLE. (When we can get the camera away from the chimps). Paulie uses his cell phone to take pictures, too. You have been warned. Please realize that the captions that go with the photos are sometimes parodies. It's up to you to figure out which ones are and aren't. We can't spoon feed everything to you, you know... Jared Anderson is our main photographer and we have loved his work (even his selfies) for many years. Congratulations if you made it this far in your reading! We know...reading stuff like this can be pretty boring but WE have to put it on the site somewhere so that we can say..."hey, there is disclaimer on the site" in case some bozo decides that they want to sue us or something. Like we have any money. We're so poor we can't even pay attention. We even owe bums money.

I was walking down this road once years ago and I saw this guy chopping down a tree. It was hot, the guy was really sweating and I stopped to watch a while. He finally took a break, cracked a can of beer and then asked me if I had a gun. I hesitated before answering but finally told him that I didn't. He said: "That's a darn shame. I'm cutting down this tree because it's my neighbor's and I'm really pissed off at him right now. I was going to just shoot his sorry a$$...but I decided to do this instead. I'm having second thoughts...though." Sometimes, there just aren't enough trees... (I've never chose that particular walking route since..) .

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